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Showing posts from April, 2014

Boot up the backside...?

And another thing.

Since my last miscarriage, TWO (pairs) of my friends - the ones who have been most in my thoughts with their many years of repeated IVF failures - have both told me they are pregnant with twins.

Rational me knows this is a complete coincidence, and nothing at all to do with the two little souls that flew away from me. However rational me would also secretly like to believe that my two little ones sneaked back in to where all the babies wait and gave *their* two little ones a big boot up the backside and told them to get on with it.

I don't know why, but I find it somehow comforting that these two very deserving and loving couples have finally got what they wished for. Romantic me feels like somehow all my pain wasn't wasted, if it meant my friends get to be parents. Rational me knows this is bollocks, and is a bit embarrased about thinking it. Grief is a bit weird like that.

All by myself

I'm having some quiet time alone this evening - Fairy is at her dad's and husband is away working for a couple of days. Of course, being self-employed I spend quite a bit of time in the house by myself, but somehow it feels different.. probably because I'm not looking at the clock every five minutes thinking "I must get this done before they all get home...". I've been thinking I'm due a blog post for quite a while, so I'm taking advantage of this time alone with my thoughts to get them all out and give them a good dusting down.

Although it's been a while since I posted anything, to be honest nothing has really changed. We're due to go on our Adoption Preparation Groups in a couple of months time, so until then we're just twiddling our thumbs.. waiting.

I still get the sad, sometimes. I spoke to our social worker about it - I'm still not entirely sure if she's going to be 'ours' for the duration, but she seems to be at our …