Showing posts from July, 2014


Had our feedback meeting with the social workers from the Prep Groups today. I'm really glad to have had the chance to do it before they write the report on us, and not just because if we hadn't it would have ended up a pretty bad one...

Apparently during the group sessions I came over as impatient, distrustful, and undermining.

It's pretty hard to sit across the table from someone and hear them say that about you.

I want to make one thing clear - I completely support the right of anyone to think those things about me. I'm sure that the way I presented myself in the prep groups could have been interpreted as any or all of those things.

However that's *not* how I intended to come across, and if I'd known that's how they were taking me I would definitely have done something about it at the time!

I did feel - and I think I have said in a previous blog post - that as the course progressed there was almost no point in me saying anything, as it didn't feel li…

Confused... and reading lists

Just had another chat with our social worker, who was trying to reassure me that the meeting is nothing to worry about.. but apparently it's not to do with what we wrote on our feedback forms, so it must be something to do with our attitude during the course itself. I'm probably more confused than I started out now, trying to work out whether I was unintentionally rude, or said something I shouldn't have... I feel like a kid who's been called to the headteacher's office and has no idea why!

Anyway.. there's not much point dwelling on it, so in other news I have just started reading a new book, about Reactive Attachment Disorder. It's quite a tough read! It's not a psychology book, and I kind of miss the theory side of things (I always like to understand stuff) but its' not trying to be one - it's about parenting a child with RAD in a way that allows them to form loving attachments and learn appropriate behaviour. It's very practical, and a l…

Prep groups day 3

I just realised that I haven't written up Day 3 of prep groups yet; I was meaning to do it this morning but got distracted in to writing the previous post instead!

Day 3 started off really well - we did a small group exercise where we split in to groups to discuss what we thought a child would understand about adoption at different ages. I really enjoyed that - particularly as my group had 0-4 years, which was a fascinating age to consider. I was surprised how many of us in the group already had children, but it certainly came in useful in this exercise! When we came to sharing with the other groups it was really interesting going through the different ages, and thinking about the different cognitive abilities a child will have, and how they will understand the concept of adoption. It was also interesting to reflect on how, regardless of the age which a child comes to us, we will still have to go through this gradual process to explain adoption to them, as their understanding grow…

Me and my big mouth

I've just had a call from our social worker, who wants to arrange a meeting between husband and I, and the two social workers who led our preparation groups last month. Apparently they feel that our participation in the group wasn't very positive, and they want to talk to us to explore why that might have been before writing their report.

I'm pretty upset about this right now.

The trouble with me, is I am virtually incapable of keeping my mouth shut if I feel strongly about something. I can be brutally frank, although I do try to mediate this with politeness wherever possible.

The trouble with other people is that they *don't* do this. They don't tell people if they disagree with them, and they don't expect to be disagreed with either.

When I was training as a teacher, I used to absolutely love being observed. I was still nervous about it, but I used to really enjoy the process of having someone watch my lesson and give me feedback on it, especially if they cou…