Showing posts from May, 2015

Hard decisions

I've found this great site called The Adoption Social; it seems to be a kind of communal blog, with lots of blogging adopters linking up to share stuff. It's great, though it's very easy to lose entire days trawling through other people's blogs, and in fact, I think that's where my supposedly productive morning has disappeared to...

It's been a very interesting week for me on TAS as they have been discussing Child to Parent Violence. Obviously, we haven't yet adopted and F is just about the least likely child to be violent, but although I haven't really got anything useful to say about the subject, it is something that's been very much on my mind at our current stage in the matching process.

If you've been following our story recently you'll know that we met a child (C1) at an activity day a few months ago, who we made a real connection with. Although we had actually decided to continue to pursue a link with another child (C2) who looked lik…

Back to the drawing board

As you can probably guess from the title of this post, when the phone did eventually ring yesterday it wasn't good news. If I'm honest, I don't entirely understand the reasons they gave for not wanting to go ahead with us, and I suspect it was largely down to a gut feeling they had about the match. It's their prerogative to be honest, and there's very little we can do about it.

Our social worker thinks that because I tend to give quite thoughtful, considered answers to questions that it's possible they are being interpreted as less enthusiastic, or less committed. She thinks that when they asked us how we felt about C2's potential learning disability they were possibly looking for someone to passionately declare that nothing mattered as long as we had our boy (rather than my spiel on how the education system in this country fails at least half the children in it...) and although *she* felt we answered the question well she suspects *they* may simply have be…

Sitting by the phone

Sitting by the phone is pretty much how I'm planning to spend today. Oh, I'll pretend to get on with stuff - "I know, I'll write a blog post, that will take my mind off things" - but really, all I'm doing is sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. (It probably won't be too long before I start ringing the land line from my mobile just to check it's working, and it's not even 11am yet.)

It's Decision Day today. Today is the day we will hear from C2's social work team and find out whether they think we are a suitable match for him.

We had the meeting last Thursday. It seemed to go quite well; we all got on fine, had a good chat, asked questions, looked at photos. They asked about the prep group report (which I stupidly hadn't anticipated) and a few things about how we would cope with this, that, and the other. We sat rather stupefied, and tried to take in the overwhelming waves of information as they washed over us...

We were asked …


My stomach has been churning for the last week, pretty much non-stop. Last Wednesday: a bolt out of the blue, a sudden phone call 10 minutes before I was due to leave for the afternoon school run - our social worker saying that we had been chosen for 'a visit'.

(For the un-initiated among you, what this means is that a family finder / social worker has decided that they like the look of us as a match for their child, and would like to come and meet us to see if we're as awesome in the flesh as we appear to be on paper.)

If you read my last post, I expect you're delighted right now - how wonderful! You know how keen we were on C so this is really good news!

Yes! Except that it wasn't C's social worker who decided to visit.

C (who henceforth shall be known as C1) was one of three children we were looking in to - the others being A (still haven't heard a dickie bird) and C2.

There wasn't much info on C2's profile, but there was nothing in particular to…