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Showing posts from July, 2016

Hurting

We're going through a(nother) difficult time at the moment. 

Tickle travels to school in Local Authority funded transport. We've had so many problems with our particular taxi, and they all came to a head at the beginning of last week; the other child Tickle travels with had a severe and violent meltdown in the car on the way home from school (which had been brewing for weeks), and the untrained and completely inappropriate adults the taxi company had provided handled it so badly that Tickle was completely traumatised, and was an hour late home from school, having been sat crying in the back of the taxi for over 45 minutes on one of the hottest days of the year while the adults tried and failed to manage the situation.

The other child had bitten one of the adults repeatedly (and drawn blood) and according to Tickle had tried to bite him too. Given that Tickle has only recently disclosed to us that his birth father bit him, I'm sure you can imagine how traumatising this was fo…

Update: Adoption order time

I'm trying to put off the work I'm actually supposed to be doing right now, so it seems like the perfect time to update you all with where we're up to with all the official stuff.

Although Tickle has been living with us for a while now, legally we are not his parents yet. The Local Authority and T's birth parents have shared parental responsibility, some of which is deferred to us so that we can make basic decisions, like giving Tickle's school permission to take him on a trip to the park, without bothering the social workers.

In order for us to become Tickle's legal parents, we have to apply for a further court order - he's already had a Placement Order (which is the one that allows the social workers to remove him from his family and put him in care) and we are now applying for an Adoption Order.

It's a slightly weird process, and once we have put in the application we don't actually have very much to do with it. Once the courts receive the paperw…

10 things I wish I had known at the start of the adoption process

I'm in a reflective mood today. I've found myself recently thinking back to what I was like at the start of the adoption process, and mulling over what advice I would give to myself. Here's what I reckon:

1. Be prepared to take AT LEAST a year off work. Seriously. No really. Trust me.

2. Adoption is a hugely emotional journey, and each stage more so than the last. The run up to approval can be harrowing, the wait during matching is unbearable, and then actually having a child placed with you is like living with a small Dementor who feeds off your energy. (Love him, obviously, but still...)

3. Read (1) again, and then (2) again, until you believe (1). My biggest regret is pressuring myself to go back to work too soon, even though I am freelance and hardly do any actual work at all. Some days even daytime TV is too demanding for my poor addled brain.

4. Love for birth children and love for adopted children feels pretty much the same. The only difference is that there is a ga…