Showing posts from February, 2017


Yesterday I spent three and a half hours with our new Independent Reviewing Officer (at our slightly overdue LAC review), trying to bring her up to speed on our case. I wasn't massively impressed with her (and neither was our Social Worker!) although she did warm up a bit as the meeting went on.

I did have to say to her at one point that I would like to stop talking about 'managing' Tickle, as really what that means is minimising the impact that Tickle has on people around him. I'd rather focus on supporting *him* to cope better with the impact his environment has had on him. Tickle's headteacher (who was also in the meeting) had picked up on this terminology a couple of times already, and had corrected the IRO when she'd asked about managing Tickle!

The head and I both had a bit of a rant in the meeting about how difficult things have been. I was quite surprised at how visibly cross she was actually - plus she had originally said she'd have to leave early …


I need to get myself in to work mode today, but I need to park something first.

I feel awful. I feel like a massive ball of tangled up mess, and it's taking all my energy to keep it together. I know that the only way to feel better is - ironically - to let myself unravel, but I can't do it. I've got that thing, where you need to have a really big cry but it's just not coming. Occasionally something tweaks it and a couple of tears escape over something silly, but I just can't seem to let it all go. I suspect it's because I don't quite feel safe enough myself at the moment. There is no one for me to fall apart on, to pick me up afterwards. I'm doing it daily, hourly sometimes, for my two children but there's no one for me.
That sounds a bit silly, even as I write it, because I've got a fantastic support network including a loving Husband and my mum very close by, but they already have to deal with a lot of the same - Husband is the one getting up …

I went on a course...

As some of you might know, yesterday I went on a course, which was about some of the Big Stuff that we are having to deal with. Although some people reading this will know more details, I'm not comfortable with being quite so blatant about the Stuff in this post, because really, it's Tickle's Stuff, not mine. So, for the purposes of this blog post, the course was about how children are affected by significant trauma, and what parents can do to help.

I was pretty anxious about it beforehand; I didn't really know what to expect, and was worried that I'd find it difficult and emotional. However, I found the day as a whole to be a really positive experience, and I came away with a lot of stuff whirling around in my head which I'm going to try and sort out in to a post here. Advance warning - it might end up quite long!

We started off talking quite generally about trauma, and what the word means. Apparently it comes from the Greek word literally meaning 'wound&#…