I'm OK

I'm OK.

For those who read my last post and are worrying, I'm OK. Not brilliant, obviously, but I had a long chat to my mum, and a cry, and it was OK for me not to be the one that copes with everything for a few minutes.

All day even the thought of being around Tickle was making me almost recoil, emotionally. It was like it was a trigger, for me. Fairy was chatting about him at one point, about one of the cute things he'd done, and I could actually feel myself shutting down inside.

Husband had kept T out all day, and whisked him straight upstairs when they got home. Eventually he stuck his head round the door and asked if I wanted to say goodnight. I didn't want to, but I did it anyway.

Then Tickle said "Will you stay with me mum?"

I said yes.

There was no thunderclap, no choir of angels, no glowing halo of light surrounding both of us. Nothing changed.

Just, he wanted me to stay with him, and I wanted to be there.

So, I'm OK. Not brilliant, obviously, but OK.

Comments

  1. Hey! Just bumped into your blog and love it! I love how you are able to express the raw emotion/sentiment that I feel. My biggest sadness and frustration is the lack of understanding/insight I feel in my environment for my son's outburst. Sometimes, I feel people can relate better to the problems of rescue dogs than adoptive children because" children are adaptable"! Keep up the writing, I'll be reading and feel a bit less alone out here! x

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    Replies
    1. Aww, thank you! :) That's really nice to hear. Pop in and say hello any time :) x

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