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Showing posts with the label Police

Fear

My life is ruled by fear at the moment. It's pervasive; it affects everything.

I got bitten this morning, because of it. Because Tickle was throwing stuff around, and I grabbed his arm from behind and surprised him, and he thought I was going to hurt him. He bit me on instinct, pure self-preservation.

Afterwards he was completely freaked out. If I'd thought about it, I would have expected him to go loopy, or need restraining, but he didn't. He was really shocked at himself. He kept trying to explain what had happened, but not quite having the right words; asking to look at the bite mark on my arm, rubbing and kissing it better. He said sorry without being asked. He was on the verge of tears.

Last night Tickle was able to articulate what we've known for a long time. He's scared of going to sleep because he thinks someone will come in and hurt him. He is terrified that his birth father will come to our house; it doesn't matter how many times I tell him that he do…

It's getting difficult again

Today Husband was woken at 2.30 by Tickle. He managed a couple of hours doze on his bedroom floor before T decides to wake the whole house up by banging the wall and screaming - all before 5am. Husband did a fantastic job of calming him down, and I managed to doze until sixish. Love that man.

While Husband was in the shower, T and I had a long chat. He told me he was scared of a kid at school. I told him I knew that he was scared of this child, but I also knew he was much more scared about some other things, and I thought that sometimes it's much easier to pretend that the child is all he's scared about because the other things just *so* big and scary.

It took some time, but Tickle eventually agreed, and we had a chat about his big scary feelings. He was able to articulate things a bit better than last time; each time we talk I get an extra glimmer of understanding, another piece of the puzzle.

I told him we would keep him safe, that these things will never happen again. "…

Police #2

We had the police round today. I'm writing about it so I can try and straighten it all out in my brain, as it's something I'm struggling to get my head around. I don't find it easy to think about.

Today we had two police officers, plus an intermediary. The intermediary took the lead; her job seems to be to assess Tickle's abilities in language, communication, understanding, that sort of thing. The police need to know whether Tickle can give reliable evidence about what happened to him - so does he understand the difference between the truth and a lie, does he have an idea of when things happened to him, could he be interviewed and asked questions. I think if things continue to progress then the intermediary would advise the police on how to approach things with Tickle, what he can understand, and generally continue to be involved and keep an eye on things. Of the two police officers, one was leading the case, and the other is trained in interviewing children.

Frust…

A story about a Policeman

Yesterday, we had a visit from a Policeman. On the whole, it probably went about as well as it could have done, not withstanding the fact that 'it went well' is about the least appropriate way of describing it. Perhaps 'it went smoothly' is better.

The Policeman was very nice. Softly-spoken, reserved, but happy to get his nice suit down on to our slightly grubby floor and put cars down the slide with Tickle. He asked Tickle a couple of questions like "How do you spell Tickle" [he had no idea] and "When is your birthday" [got the month, no idea about the date] as a fairly rudimentary indication of Tickle's level of comprehension. He also asked whether Tickle would like to tell him about the things that happened to him at his other house that had made him feel sad and worried. Much to my astonishment, it seemed that Tickle did want to tell him. He didn't say much, just one brief but illuminating sentence, then he sort of... folded up, like he …

Dear God there's more...

This post was supposed to be all about the meeting we had yesterday, and what we are doing to move forward, and I will get to that but I am in shock because there is more. It seems that the damn has opened and Tickle, having discovered it's good to talk, now wants to keep doing it. I'm struggling to find the words... been staring at the computer screen for at least ten minutes trying to work out what to say.

I'm not sure that this will change anything in terms of what happens next - I will have to report it to the social workers obviously, who will go back to the police again. We are starting to do a bit of preparation work with Tickle about talking to the police - trying to explain who they are and what they do, as at the moment he just thinks they go nee-naw nee-naw. So far I have told him that the police are there to help people who feel worried and sad, and that they are they for when adults make 'bad choices' (a phrase he has picked up from school) in the same…