Showing posts with the label contact

Reporting back

So, today is over and done with, and my brave, kind, empathetic little man has got through it with only the merest whisper of a meltdown, a bit of a loony bedtime, and a half-hearted threat to bite me.

By this morning a tentative compromise between us and Tickle's social workers had been reached, and although we both seemed to have slightly different interpretations of it we agreed to go ahead and see what happened. The deal was that I would be there, settle T in, and if I felt that it was ok for him to be left at all then I would perhaps go for a little wander to the bar to order a drink, or an extended trip to the toilet. I'm not clear whether Tickle's social worker had interpreted this as me leaving them to go and sit at the bar, but anyway... it felt like lipservice but I was determined to play it by the book so that come the LAC review I could put my hand on my heart and say I'd done as they'd asked.

So. It happened, it was OK, and it was definitely the right …

First Contact

Tomorrow is a contact visit between Tickle and his birth sibling B. This is the first visit he's had since being with us, in fact I am pretty sure it's been about a year since they last saw each other. They were last due a contact in October but as introductions were coming up the contact with B was postponed in favour of a goodbye contact with birth parents (that actually never happened, but that's besides the point).

And somehow, despite all of this, it has been decreed that it's not appropriate for me to be there.

I'll backtrack a bit. We have known that the contact visit was on the cards for some time, but obviously it's not been at the forefront of our minds as we have been focusing on getting from day to day.

Initially we were told that Tickle's social worker would drive to our house to collect T, take him to the contact, and then bring him back. The last time that Tickle's social worker drove him anywhere it was to drop him off at foster care.. …

Birth dad

I've spent the last 36 hours in a bit of a daze. The revelations about Tickle's birth father, the case being in the national press, and that awful letter just left me reeling. I've had some lovely messages of support from friends and family who read my last blog post and rallied round with virtual hugs and a lot of jokes to cheer me up! That was unexpected but lovely, and it did really help.

I had a long chat to my social worker yesterday afternoon and she was great. All through this process Husband and I have been so well supported by her, and given some of the stories I've read about adopters and their social workers I am so grateful!

First things first - Tickle won't be shown that letter from his birth dad unless he asks to see it. There is a thing called a later life letter, but apparently this is something written by the social workers. Parents can contribute photos etc and I think they can sometimes write a letter to be given to the child later.. if I'm h…